I like to think of myself as a “struggling artist”. I mean I don’t really paint or sing or shit. But imagine the lack of credibility I’d probably have if I just introduced myself as “struggling”
Y’all ever have a dream where you’re at a party or some shit, and suddenly you look around and realize that EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKER that you’ve ever known or made acquaintance with seemed to get an invite? There’s a large crowd of cheering peers gathered around your old manager as he performs a rather uncharacteristic […]
We got a lot of vultures in my area. This ain’t no metaphor or nothing. They’re just incredibly large birds with freakishly long talons. To be honest, they look like they could fucking swoop down and eat me if they really wanted to. And they’re pack hunters too I think. Idk why they only go […]
So I crunched some numbers on the accuracy of our groundhog (at least the one most of our mainstream outlets use) and Phil (the groundhog) has been correct 7 out of his 15 tries.This yields a success rate of 47%…which is less than half. Keep in mind there are only 2 options here. Hopefully y’all […]
So I’m taking this online certification for journalism, and as someone who’s got some pretty deeply liberal beliefs (also as a sarcastic asshole, I feel like I need to remind y’all from time to time), I find the clear-cut progressive agenda for some of my professors extremely problematic. Look, speaking as someone of color, you […]
I went into a Chick-fil-A drive through, and counted precisely 7 (not to be confused with the approximate phrase, “several”) overly congenial “certainly!”s uttered from the giant walkie-talkie taking my order. When I pulled up, the staff was singing Biz Markie in sweet melodic harmony.. I wish I could report something out of the ordinary […]
What do y’all think we’ll end up doing away with first: death or taxes? Serious inquiry.